Close to Losing Your Mind...

It is such a brief release to drink and think no one knows. 

Begging and lying - all over again.

I am sort of doing it these days and it is slowly killing me.

Sort of is a pathetic understatement.

Back on the antabuse ASAP.

Now, we find out the sex of our thrid child - on Tuesday.  Here's hoping.


  1. Hey buddy, I've been worried about you. Do whatever you gotta do. I know I don't have to tell you what you stand to lose and what you stand to gain, it's all right in front of you. Embrace it fully.

    Do whatever you gotta do.

    I'm so glad to see you back here.

  2. So great to hear from you Bwendo. So great. We are all still here, still talking to one another, still offering support, still struggling on and blahhing on about our own trials and tribulations. Still a real faceless bunch of sober allies doing this thing together. Won't you join us again? It's still the only thing I do to keep me sober - this online community. It's great to haer from you anyway... I hope you are looking after yourself .. dig deep my friend and join us again xxx

  3. what they said *points up*

    glad to see you here, and we're here for you whenever you need.


  4. Glad you are writing again. Doing something which feeds your soul, like writing, is great.

    I always looked forward to your posts.


  5. Hey Mate, good to hear from you, but sorry to hear where you're at. Yours was the first blog I read when I decided to get my shit together after so many years. Thankyou and good luck, Paul.

  6. This morning I had to explain to my 9 year old daughter, again, about how her Daddy's drinking damaged his brain such that he could no longer feel the light and joy when he saw the leaves on the tree, heard his favorite song or any of the other things that allow us to weather the tough things in our life.

    I had to try to help her understand that the depression that was both the cause of and the result of his drinking ultimately caused him to kill himself.

    This is not what you want for your children.

    Please treat the underlying depression that makes alcohol such a palatable medicine for you.

    I've watched this all unfold.

    You can do this.

  7. Glad to see you back. Keep up the hard fight.


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